"...with the arrogance of conquerors."
Today was my first day of classes.

The classes I had today were Arabic and Hebrew, but I only ended up going to Arabic. Before you tell me that I really got off on the wrong foot this semester, let me offer my excuse for skipping Hebrew.

Bernard Lewis, the (and I mean THE) prominent Arab historian, was giving a lecture. He is a Professor Emeritus at Princeton, and his book "The Arabs in History" is considered the seminal work. It is still required reading, thirty years after its publication, in many Islamic and Arabic history courses--including two of mine last semester. I'll have Hebrew four days out of every week. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity to hear an academic celebrity, which I found out about a mere half hour before the lecture started, during Arabic class. I and a couple of my friends elected to skip Hebrew, and I'm glad we did.

The topic was "Democracy and the Middle East." He made several interesting points, which I will get to in a moment. There were four people onstage: Professor Lewis, as well as HU's provost, the head of the humanities department, and Professor Amitai. Professor Amitai handed me his camera and asked me to take some pictures for him, which I did. It was a lot of fun.

Professor Lewis offered some of the following thoughts, which I mainly want to get down before I forget them. Although I may use quotes, these are paraphrases.

"There are two schools of thought regarding democratization in the Arab world. The first holds the opinion that 'these people are different than us. Democracy is not the natural system of government, so we shouldn't impose it. They have different social institutions and traditions, and those traditions lean towards tyranny. They should remain under tyranny because that is their natural state of government.' Curiously, this is often referred to as the 'Pro-Arab' argument. The other says that 'the Arabs of today are the heirs of an ancient and proud civilization, one in which there is a long history of consultational government which has simply got off track. This can be restored, perhaps with a little discreet help from us.' This is often called the 'imperialist' argument."

As you might guess, Professor Lewis was an advocate of the second. He argued that tyranny only developed in the Islamic world as a result of attempts at Westernization, which gave those in power unprecedented ability to control. He pointed to the French protectorates of Syria and Lebanon which pledged allegiance to the French Vichy government rather than De Gaulle's government in exile, which gave rise to the Ba'ath parties (Saddam Hussein's party in Iraq, and the ruling party in Syria), which he called a clone of the Nazi party which had no trouble transitioning to Stalinist parties later on, as examples of tyranny being a product of contact with the west. He also pointed to the level of consultation an Ottoman sultan had to undertake before getting anything through; the sultan would practically have to beg.

He also talked about the "miracle" of Israeli democracy: that is, that it still exists, despite the country being in a perpetual state of emergency since its founding (which, you might imagine, would make the country ripe for military takeover, which has not happened). He also called the Israeli electorate system the worst in the world, since individuals don't have specific representatives in the Knesset; rather, votes are for a party, and each party gets a number of seats proportional to the number of votes they receive. In a party receives ten seats, their top ten members become MKs. If they receive twenty seats, the top twenty members do, and so on. The MKs thus have no personal responsibility to their electorate. He ended his remarks with a plea for representative democracy in Israel.

After the lecture, my group and I went to have lunch. I wasn't hungry for institutional food, so I had a drink and talked to them. One met up with a friend she knew from Sweden (I told them I wasn't happy with Swedes today, after reading that Peter Forsberg would probably go back and play in Sweden next year--it was the first they had heard of it, and they were very happy. One wondered why he would go back to MoDo, since it's "such a crap team." I said, "Well, not anymore." But I digress) and we sat down. We talked for a while, and then a reporter from Channel 1 (Israel's main news station, but more like ABC than CNN) asked to join us. He didn't have cameras or anything with him, but he saw that we were talking about the lecture, which he had been covering, and wanted to join us. The conversation fortuitously shifted to dynamics of power within the Palestinian territories (something about which I have read and thought a lot about), and we had a great conversation about it. Then I left to come home.

In closing, I'd like to repeat one, mostly unrelated, story that Professor Lewis shared, which I think sums up the Israeli mode of behavior perfectly. He said,

"I was in Jordan, and I was talking to Jordanians. Now, they had some very high hopes for the future after the treaty [the 1995 peace treaty between Israel and Jordan]. But now, they were angry. I asked them why they were angry. They said, 'We signed the treaty with Israel, and now, the Israeli tourists...they come and walk around here with the arrogance of conquerors!' I asked them what specifically the Israelis did. Then they told me. They did not believe me when I told them Israelis happen to treat each other the very same way."
- posted by @ 3:52 PM

 
Eden Story
We're in Ashdod, over at Alla and Vova's house, and I have to share this with you.

About five minutes ago, I went into the bathroom. Eden was outside the door and said in Hebrew, "Who's in there?" I said, "Ari." She opened the door and started to try to come in. I laughed and wrestled with her for a bit, and said, "No, you can't come in." She said, "Oh yes I can!" I answered, "No, I'm stronger than you." And I pushed her outside the door and locked it.

Eden's response? "I'M stronger here." And she shut off the light.

I just can never be as ruthless as a four-year-old.
- posted by @ 10:04 PM

 
Nonpolitik
This entry should not be seen as a jade's trick regarding the great discussion following the last entry. On the contrary, I hope it continues. But for those of us (ie, not me or Daniel) not participating, I decided to do a quick update. The rest of you: feel free to jump in.

I've been doing a lot of writing this week, and not just on this blog. I have written both body chapters (thirty out of a minimum forty pages) of my seminar paper. I had researched myself to the brink of insanity and still didn't even know exactly what I wanted to write about; finally on Sunday I just said the hell with it and started typing. Imagine my surprise when the thing seemed to write itself into a topic in a pretty well-organized way. It definitely needs some cleanup--some of which will be accomplished when I write my introduction and conclusion, and the rest when I reread the thing and edit (with Elana's patient help) for clarity and syntax.

It's a good thing I'm getting it done now, because classes start up again for me on Sunday morning.

This weekend we are going to Ashdod, and this time I mean it. I meant it last time, but circumstances beyond my control prevented it and made me a liar. I'll probably spend most of the time trying to hammer out five pages each of introduction and conclusion, which should not be a problem. After that I can focus on my other assignment from last semester, a ten-to-fifteen page paper that will undoubtedly be of the same quality as the class for which it is assigned. I don't foresee any problems getting that done by its due date, the Ides of March; I could pull ten pages out of my ascot. But Ashdod will be a nice break, like always.
- posted by @ 3:15 PM

 
Cause and Effect
Sometimes this blog is about our day-to-day lives here; sometimes it's simply my thoughts, or a funny story, or political observations. Often, in a country like Israel, it's about all of them together, because they are inseparable.

The farce of a hearing in the Hague started today. Part of me shrugs and says, "Ah...Who cares?" Israel is going to do what it is going to do--what it has to do--to defend itself regardless of the non-binding ruling of the International* Court** of Justice***.

What absolutely boggles my mind is the fact nobody on the Palestinian side addresses the fact that the fence is movable. They cry about it creating undue hardships on the Palestinian people and being a land-grab. Well, perhaps it is. But Israel is claiming nothing of the sort. In fact, all Israel is talking about is "separation." You over there, us over here. There, we're separated. We don't need to occupy anymore, and suicide bombing is suddenly a lot harder. No more targeted killings of terrorists, bulldozing of suicide bombers houses for you, no more dead children on buses for us. Let's take a breather for a moment, and once all the violence has died down (an unfortunate choice of words, I admit, but I'm largely free associating here, and I'm typing too fast to hit backspace) we can get back to meaningful negotiation, where we can discuss the true final border and the fate of the wall and of the settlements.

A cynic, and lord knows that we have no shortage of those, would scoff at the noble sentiments that I just put into the mouths of Israeli officials. And perhaps they would be right. But they also would be missing the big picture here. And that is that an end of terrorism is in the interests of both Israel and PA, regardless of how it is reached. After all, the PA always condemns the suicide bombings after they happen, and declares them contrary to the interests of the Palestinian people. The main challenge to their power is from the extremist groups. I should know; I wrote my senior honors thesis at Brandeis on that very topic. The Palestinian Authority doesn't think that it can take out the extremists, and it isn't sure it wants to because it feels that the pressure the bombings put on the Israeli government give it its only leverage in a future negotiation.

What this fails to take into account is the Israeli electorate. More bombings, in the simplest terms, is most likely to keep the Likud (right-wing) Party, Ariel Sharon's party, in power in the Knesset, and will relegate Avodah (Labor, left-wing) to opposition. Avodah is the party of Ehud Barak, whose offer of around 95% of the West Bank, all of Gaza, East Jerusalem as a capital, and even a limited right of return of Palestinian refugees to Israel (not the area that would become Palestine: Israel proper) to Arafat in 2000 ended his political career (because Arafat rejected it and launched the intifada in his face). A right-wing government is MORE LIKELY to continue a policy of occupation and LESS LIKELY to agree to a permanent two-state solution. There are two reasons for this: first, the religious right is a very powerful broker in any coalition, and is always key to the stability of any Likud Prime Minister; and, second, the Right, in Israel as in America, tends towards hawkishness, as well as fierce Zionism, which tell them both that the Occupied Territories are in fact Judaea and Samaria, and Israel's by right (Gaza, they can have).

On the other hand, it was the Left (under Yitzhak Rabin) who signed the Oslo Accords in 1993, made peace with Jordan in 1995, and engaged Syria in negotiation, and the Left (under Ehud Barak) who offered Arafat almost everything he was asking for in 2000 at Camp David. It was the extreme left who co-authored the Geneva Accords. One could point to Menachem Begin (a fierce Likudnik and former terrorist himself) who made peace with Egypt, but that was an aberration. It was back in 1979, and back then the logic of international diplomacy said that only Nixon could go to China. Today, it is the Left who is going to offer the Palestinians the greatest chance to achieve the most in a negotiated settlement.

Which brings me back to my initial confusion. Let me make a few predictions, given the hypothetical completion (somewhat in doubt) and effectiveness (much less in doubt) of the separation fence. A few years of relative quiet strengthens the Right, because they brought it--but then, people tire of the impermanence of the solution. International pressure and growing discontent in the Israeli electorate bring Avodah, on the platform of a "final, just peace, with two states side by side," back into power. The PA will have to struggle a bit while the Israeli Right enjoys popularity and there is still no Palestinian State, but several concrete benefits--including the dismantling of the Gaza settlements and some of the West Bank ones, the improving economy that quiet brings (including, hopefully, some foreign investment from both the Arab states as well as Israel and the West), and, of course, the resumption of negotiations--will do quite well enough for their popularity in the meantime. And when the Left comes to power, and offers to discuss (again) the final status of Jerusalem, the refugees, and the barrier, the Palestinian Authority will jump at the chance and agree to a painful but just peace agreement that lies somewhere between Ehud Barak's proposal and the Geneva Accord.

Sounds pretty good, right?

Right?

Bueller?

Bueller?

This, my confusion. But, I must make a confession here. I'm not really confused. I understand exactly why this scenario is not palatable to Yasser Arafat and the Palestinian Authority.

It's because the erection of an effective wall will make stopping terror much too easy for the Israelis. The PA fears that if the Israelis can stop terror without an occupation, they'll have no reason to move the wall in any final settlement. This is a unilateral solution, which they were not a part of. They refused to fight terror (and make no mistake: I understand that fighting terror may mean a Palestinian Civil War. But that may be necessary for a final peace: Britain, France, and America all had to fight their own civil wars, and Israel's version--the sinking of a ship, by the Haganah, carrying weapons earmarked for Jewish terrorists in 1948--was so limited simply because the terrorists knew that a true civil war would have meant the abortion of the Jewish state). And so, having so refused, they find themselves shut out of the process. This means the end of their credibility because they missed their chance to fight terror, again and again.

But it is not too late. Well...it's too late for the people who have lost their lives, limbs, or loved ones because they committed the unforgivable sin of riding the wrong bus home from work or stopping for coffee, or just sitting in their apartment when a gunman knocks (how polite!) on their door. But the PA still has a chance to get on the right side of the fence, so to speak. It can start fighting terror now. With no terror, there's no need for the wall. With no wall, there's no whining about a unilateral solution.

But there is terror now. Or at least, there was yesterday. Eight were killed and more than sixty injured when Bus 14 blew up on Emek Refa'im street. There has not been a bomber from the Gaza Strip in Israel proper since the completion of the security fence there; the completed section of the West Bank fence has already stopped several dozen would be attackers. How many lives did it already save? How many more could it save? Just because you don't hear about a bombing every day, it doesn't mean that there aren't attempts every day, that are foiled when would-be attackers cannot get past Israeli security. For every murderer that gets through, many, many more are stopped, caught in the act. But if terror were to suddenly stop--if yesterday's attack was the LAST attempt--then would Israel be building the wall? No, of course not. There would be no need.

The wall will bring about a cessation of attacks. A cessation of attacks will bring about a negotiated settlement. A negotiated settlement will tear down whatever wall doesn't lie on the new borders. Why should that be contrary to the PA's interest?

Any wall that is built can be moved or torn down. Any innocent who dies--"Israeli or Palestinian"--cannot be revived. Israel is building the wall to save lives, by ending the occupation and preventing terrorist attacks. The Palestinians are putting it on "trial" in the Hague for political reasons. Not that this should surprise anyone--the PA is much more willing to show their dead bodies on TV than Israel is to show the bodies of terror victims, as Israel tends to censor those pictures out of respect for the families of the deceased (imagine having your loved ones remains broadcast around the world). And there we come to the difference between the PA and the Israeli government. One is in the business of preventing death, and one is in the business of exploiting death for political gain.





* "International": Actually, most of the democracies in the world--including the United States and Britain--do not recognize the body's authority in this matter. Doesn't sound like it's very international to me.
** "Court": A court generally hears both sides of the case; Israel is not participating in the proceedings. The United Nations condemned the separation barrier and then sent it to its Kangaroo Court, leading to the conclusion that the verdict is predetermined. Does not sound much like a court to me. It also occurs to me that nobody is complaining to the International Court of Justice about the blowing up of Israeli civilians. But somebody's building a wall? Call the Judge!
*** "Justice": Explain this one to me, please. Israel can't occupy the Palestinians. I agree. Israel can't fight its war against terrorists, take steps to defend its citizens, or trust the PA to do it for them. When they do, this is what happens. It's Israel's duty to absorb the terrorist attacks until a final agreement is reached? Is that justice?
- posted by @ 12:17 AM

 
Terrorist Attack in Jerusalem
As I was driving Elana to school this morning, about twenty minutes ago, an ambulance rolled by on Hebron Street, followed by a couple of police cars. We both knew what that meant immediately. We turned on the radio, and they were speaking very quickly, but I could gather that it may have been in the area of the Central Bus Station and resulted in dozens of casualties.

I don't know any other details yet, but both Elana and I are both fine. I'll post more details when I know them; even CNN and FoxNews aren't reporting anything yet.

Update:

Still sketchy on the details, but I've heard of at least eight people killed (the suicide bomber makes 9 dead--they never include him or her in the body count, and rightfully so) and at least 60 wounded, five of them critically. This is the twenty-ninth suicide bombing in Jerusalem in the last two years. I know exactly where the bus bombing was: on bus number 14, where King David Street turns into Emek Refa'im in the Gan HaPa'amon area. We drive by there whenever we leave Jerusalem or head downtown.

The timing of this bombing is really interesting, especially considering that the hearings on the separation fence in the Hague (in which Israel is not participating) begin tomorrow. This certainly doesn't help the Palestinian case.

CNN is talking about the "constant bloodshed" in Israel, and certainly doing its best to sensationalize what's actually going on here. Of course the suicide bombings are terrible, but it makes it sound like we're living in Sarajevo. We're not. Elana and I were talking yesterday about the media and its bias in reporting the conflict: you all remember the reports of the massacre in Jenin that wasn't (and wasn't reported as not having happened)? Or the near constant attempts to place these murders in a "political context" in order to justify them? Well, now they're telling me that Israelis are living in constant fear of these "Pigu'im." That simply hasn't been our experience. Israelis live in caution, not fear, and reports that these tactics have frightened Israelis into paralysis simply encourages further attacks. Not that the Palestinians watch CNN (or, as I've heard it referred to by Palestinians, ZNN) anyway.

Another thought for you to consider: while the Palestinians play political games in the Hague and criticize Israel for building the security fence to defend its citizens from just such attacks, they do nothing to stop terrorism (beyond condeming the bombings after they have happened). Meanwhile, today Israel is taking down part of the security fence in response to criticism that it will cause undue hardship on Palestinians, and has concrete plans to start removing settlements from the Gaza Strip (the bombing took place about a fifth of a kilometer from the hotel where a State Department/NSA delegation was staying, being briefed on the plan by Ariel Sharon). The world needs to stop making excuses for them. Hold them to their commitments to actually fight terror, or let Israel defend herself. But don't make allowances for their inaction and then cry "apartheid" when Israel actually does something to prevent these attacks.
- posted by @ 8:54 AM

 
Spidi Food on a Slow Day
So we didn't get to Ashdod this weekend, despite what I said in my last entry. That's because about twenty minutes after I finished writing, I started to feel very sick. I mean VERY sick. I continued to feel sick all day yesterday, and even into today...although, fortunately, I seem to be feeling almost totally better now. If I had to guess, it was probably something I ate. Elana didn't get it (knock on wood).

We took it easy for the first part of today, and then, feeling a bit cabin feverish, we decided to take a walk. It's tough to walk without a destination in mind (because it's Saturday, everything is closed), so we decided to walk south on Bethlehem Street, just to see what was there; we hadn't ever gone that way. We ended up in Industrial Talpiot, near the Rav Chen movie theatres. Industrial Talpiot is an odd combination of a commercial center (with quite a few mini-malls) and an honest, well, industrial area, with factories and garages and the aforementioned car dealerships. Of course, absolutely deserted, thanks to Shabbat.

Or was it?

We were both hungry, and lamenting the fact that we were far from home with no food in sight. It was to our delight and surprise, therefore, when we discovered this tiny little Chinese restaraunt, called "Sini Spidi" (a mix of Hebrew and English: "Sini" is Hebrew for Chinese, and "Spidi" is a corruption of "Speedy." The two words rhyme). There was another group in there: Americans, of course. They were talking with a man who was there by himself, an artist who was very big into name dropping. The Americans were interested in showing how much they knew about art, and the South African artist was interested in talking about what a great, important artist he was, and neither came off as particularly convincing. At first it was amusing, but when one of the Americans (in Elana's line of sight, sadly) got a bad case of the "plumber pants" (use your imagination), it became kind of sad. And unappetizing.

The food was inexpensive, and was not great. I remember something about my previous trips here that Chinese food in Israel was mediocre at best, not that I would have tried the stuff--I've learned to eat most "ethnic" foods (ie, anything that you couldn't buy at a baseball game) only in the past four years or so. Still, we liked the woman who ran it; she was from Hong Kong, and seemed thrilled when Elana tossed out the Mandarin phrases she knows: "Thank you," "I love you," and "Hello, my name is Elana." She also seemed genuinely concerned with how we liked the food, which is pretty rare.

So, that's about it. Tomorrow I'm going back to school to (hopefully) put the finishing touches on my research, and Elana is off to JSS.
- posted by @ 5:30 PM

 
No, Mr. Bond, I Expect You Die
Last night we went to the Sheraton Hotel to meet up with our friend Shaul, who is in Israel for about a week, leading a group of Colorado mayors on a tour and, as he puts it, "creating ambassadors." He said the trip is going extremely well, and we had a great visit with him. He also brought me some software from the US which fully restores my computer to its previous (ante-virus)state of usefulness. For all of you lucky people, that means an update to the website in the next week.

I've been working like crazy on this paper, researching, putting down thoughts, constructing outlines, et cetera. It's extremely difficult, since none of the secondary sources really include any analysis...which means that for this paper, I can't fake it, tie together five or six different opinions and synthesize one of my own. I have to look at what happened, consider why it might have happened, and draw a conclusion from that. I'm on my academic own, really for the first time. One thing I noticed about the professor is that when I have approached him with ideas, he does not offer his opinions; rather, he suggests reading. This is intellectually exciting and terrifying all at once. I hope it turns out okay.

I got in touch with a middle- and high-school classmate of mine, who is in Jerusalem for the year studying to be a Rabbi; we may meet up sometime over the next couple of weeks.

And finally: I wish I was kidding about this, but I'm not. I've heard some reputable reports (and those of you who know me know I wouldn't post something like this without some reason to believe it is true) that some Palestinians are blaming Israel for the earthquake last week, and are planning a riot at the Temple Mount today. We'll see if it actually happens. If it does, I guarantee that the world will find a way to soften the idiocy of this, the way they justified the pretext of Ariel Sharon's visit to the Temple Mount as the outbreak of the intifada in 2000, when in fact it had been planned well ahead of his announced visit. "Well, eh...are we sure that Israel *didn't* cause the earthquake? Don't they have a secret group that does that sort of thing? I think it's called 'S.P.E.C.T.R.E.' They're Israelis, right?"

Heh. Right. I'm not going so far as to predict this will happen...it seems outlandish, even for the Palestinians, to suggest that Israel can control the region's geology. But if it does happen, know that it was planned in advance. The very fact that it has even come up is indicative--SOMEone is trying to incite a riot at the Temple Mount, based on the idea that Israel, or some Israeli guy who giggles with his pinky to his lips, caused the earthquake. Mwa Ha Ha Ha Ha!

We're off to Ashdod for the weekend. Later.
- posted by @ 8:30 AM

 
Whether the Weather Be Cold...
The snow, as predicted, was gone within twenty-four hours, with the minor exception of a few tenacious piles here and there that are somehow hanging on. The snow-melt was pretty incredible; first there were rivers running down streets, and then there was rather heavy rain, not from the clouds but rather from the snow on rooftops that was being blown about by the heavy wind. Very few non-permanent residents of Jerusalem get to see the city when it's white, so we count ourselves fortunate on that account. Incidentally, the weather today is beautiful, and the sky over downtown Jerusalem is as blue as it's been all winter.

Elana has started painting at JSS; soon there will be a new addition to the website, with some pictures of her paintings as well as some new ones of Jerusalem and the Talpiot Mafia (when I came home today, Raggedy Sam was lounging on a neighbor's Subaru, while Tamurlane was limping around the car in circles--looked like he needed to ask the Don for a favor, and was working up the courage).

I haven't posted in a few days because really, there's nothing much new. After Sunday (on which we celebrated Valentine's Day with dinner and a movie), I've been back and forth between home, the gym and the library, and Elana has been back and forth between home and JSS. I've been researching my paper, and I think I'm almost to the point where I can start writing; I have about thirty pages of notes, quotes, thoughts, and potential leads, and I think I finally got a good enough picture of my topic (and, incidentally, of the whole of the medieval Islamic world--way to go, Professor Amitai!) to know what it is I want to say. I've also done enough research to know that medieval Islam is not going to be my specialty, but it's certainly good to know the history.

Now if I could just add the language, I'd be in good shape.
- posted by @ 2:40 PM

 
Yerushalayim shel Lavan
Question: How do you make Israeli drivers more dangerous, disrupt the economy, shut down the cities and terrify all the cats?

Answer: Let it snow.

We heard there was going to be snow when we were leaving our wonderful dinner last night, but we had heard that before, and I think we can be excused for not accepting it at a word. However, the storm that swept over Syria and the Golan Heights did not dissipate, and we drove into the storm returning from Be'er Sheva this evening, where we had been all day with extended family.

Israeli drivers are clueless when it comes to driving in snow. Israeli drivers are clueless in general, actually, so when you put them in snow, problems compound. First of all (and this is not their fault, but it contributed to the traffic jam on Highway 1), some cars simply didn't make it. This baffled me; cars were simply abandoned, in the middle of the road, forcing the rest of us to drive around them. We're talking about a couple inches of very wet snow here. It's not even that cold. Why did these cars die? Second of all, also contributing to the slowgoing, was all the rubbernecking. Usually when people slow down and look in curiosity, there is at least an accident. Not in Israel. The curiosity slowing was due exclusively to the snow. People were pulled off the highway so they could have snowball fights. I'm not kidding.

Also, Israeli drivers in snow have only two speeds: dangerously slow or dangerously fast. When they brake on ice, they fishtail (which happened to me once, to be fair, but we were driving over a frozen bridge at the time...the Israelis were doing their trout-out-of-water impression all over the road).

We got home safely (finally) and discovered that there are no classes tomorrow. Nor, I am sure, will businesses be open. It snowed? Shut it all down! All I can say is, good thing the Lord didn't put Mount Zion near Buffalo.

All this said, Jerusalem under a blanket of snow is one of the most beautiful sights I have seen. Making it even better is the fact that it will all be gone in twenty-four hours, meaning the snow will remain white until it melts, and we'll never have to suffer through that horrible slushy gray stuff that haunts Boston like a snowstorm's leftover curse.

And the doggies about town just LOVE it.
- posted by @ 9:53 PM

 
Staple Gun Fun Run
Well, I'm posting again, so I guess the world didn't end, after all.

We took advantage of the beautiful weather today and walked to do our errands, first to Emek Refa'im to return the video we rented ("The Gods Must Be Crazy," which I hadn't seen since childhood, and which Elana had never seen), buy a bottle of wine for dinner tonight (if anyone wants to know about this dinner, let me know by email; there's a good reason I'm not posting details here), and then head down to the Beit Hadar Mall to buy alcohol (with which Elana can mix shellac) and a staple gun. The former we found relatively easily at the SuperPharm.

The ordeal of buying the staple gun was beyond belief.

First we went to Office Depot, which seemed like a likely spot. After all, it's Office bloody Depot, and I thought staplers were their bread and butter. We found a staple gun rather easily, but could not figure out if the staples they sold fit. So we asked for help. The first guy didn't know what all the symbols meant, so he went and got someone else. He, too, was in the dark, as was the third employee he asked, who happened to be helping someone else in the same aisle. Finally, he went off with the stapler to ask "Moshe," who was apparently the resident expert on staples. Moshe was, apparently, as perplexed by the enigma of "which staples fit this staple gun" as were the rest of us. Frustrated, we decided to try the Home Center (Home Depot+Bed, Bath and Beyond) downstairs. We walked in, immediately asked someone, and he pointed us in the general direction of the staple guns. As did the next guy. As did the next guy. We ended up running laps around Home Center. Fed up, we finally asked someone to show us where the staple guns were. He went and checked with someone else, and Lo and Behold! They don't sell staple guns.

Our blood pressure rising, we went back to Office Depot and more or less demanded to know which staples fit the gun. The manager (who was also baffled by the conundrum) finally got embarrassed enough to let us open the staple and try out different ones, which we had been angling for since we came in. One of them fit, and we bought the thing. Then we came home, exhausted.

One would think that an Office Depot would know enough to sell staples that match their staplers, and mark them in a clear way. But Elana was right when she said, as we were returning there, "I bet if we pester and annoy them enough, they'll give us what we want." Sigh. Kacha zeh po.
- posted by @ 3:59 PM

 
Giving the region the shakes
Elana did not start painting today; rather, she was stretching canvasses and gesso-ing like a madwoman. She will start tomorrow.

A moderate earthquake (5.0) hit Israel, the Occupied Territories, Jordan and Lebanon today. It's epicenter was at the northern tip of the Dead Sea. Both Elana and I felt it. There was no damage, nor were there any reported injuries at first. I found out later that one woman panicked and jumped off the third story of a building to her death.

I was in the gym at the time, just having finished my workout. The building shook in one hard jolt, accompanied by a loud boom and rattling windows. A few weeks ago something similar happened at the gym; it turned out to be a sonic boom. This was clearly not catastrophic, from my standpoint, and I actually forgot it happened until Elana called and asked me if I had felt it.

Elana's school, of course, is in the top floor of an industrial, pre-fab looking building, so they all felt it much more intensely. The building shook considerably for her, and she, being a Los Angeles veteran, was among the few who remained totally calm. The Israelis didn't know quite what to do, but apparently there was some general confusion. The person I would hypothetically feel worst for is the model, who might have been forced to exit the building in her birthday suit. Fortunately, it was not such a serious earthquake; its epicenter was in a sparsely populated stretch of desert, and although it was felt as far away as Amman (more on that in a moment) in reality the quake did nothing more than rattle some windows and give people quite a bit of a fright.

It's not surprising, really, given the Biblical accounts of the end of days: The Hebrew prophet Zecharia predicted that Jerusalem's Mount of Olives would be cleft in two by a quake. The New Testament Book of Revelation predicts "a great earthquake, such as was not since men were upon the earth," as a sign of the apocalypse. The Koran also predicts something in that general vein. Also, given the normally high state of tension accompanied with loud noises and shaking in this city, the Knesset was evacuated as a security precaution.

After the gym I went to the Rothberg library (the smaller library on Mt. Scopus) to do some research. The librarian was helping me track down a book that had been misplaced, and she turned to me rather worriedly and said, "Oh, I sure hope there isn't another one." She pointed out the window to the valley that separates Mount Scopus from Issawiya, and anxiously let me know that that was the Syrio-Lebanese fault right there. Apparently everyone has this idea that aftershocks are as powerful and destructive as the earthquake itself, and certainly have no idea that aftershocks are often a signal of stabilization. I told her about my past earthquake experience, and reassured her that I didn't think there was anything to worry about. She was skeptical, and seemed unsure whether to be anxious about the floor beneath her or the ceiling above her.

On the way home, I turned on the radio, where the earthquake was the topic of discussion on all three stations I listen to: Galgalatz, 101 FM, and Radio Jordan. Galgalatz mentioned it briefly; 101 FM was having an astrology show, and mentioned the earthquake briefly as something that might, in fact, have been in the stars (sorry we missed it, all the signs were there!).

On Radio Jordan, they were freaking out.

It's true that Amman felt the quake more keenly than Jerusalem did, but the level of hysteria surprised me. Also, the DJ and her guest, Dr. Jassadh of the Jordanian Geology Authority, had their attempts to calm everyone down undone by misuse of their bookish English. People were calling in, certain that there would be another earthquake, certain that this was the end of the world (I write this without hyperbole), asking whether they needed to evacuate their homes or the city. They stopped short of asking whether it was time to return to nomadism and abandon sedentary life altogether.

Don't get me wrong, I certainly understand their fear, especially where they haven't been raised with earthquakes as a possibility and where they are thought of as harbingers of Armageddon. It's especially forgivable after the horrible images they must have seen from the recent Bam earthquake.

The caller who called in asking if she should evacuate her apartment building (she lived on the sixth floor) or go to the basement was told, "Yes." Then she asked if she should sleep outside tonight. The answer was, "No, we are here with Dr. Jassadh to confirm and reassure you that there won't be another earthquake." So, wondered the woman, should I go to the basement or not? "Absolutely, when there is another earthquake, go to the basement." But...I thought that there wasn't going to be another one? "That's correct." So, I should stay in my apartment. "When there is another earthquake, no, you should leave." Thus proving that details of language--such as, oh, I don't know, the substituting of "when" for "if"--cause significant amounts of confusion when ignored. The caller was getting increasingly panicky with every contradiction, and finally asked, "Should I go to the basement, yes or no?" "Yes." So she hung up the phone and went to her apartment building's basement, where she may yet be sitting, waiting for the sickening sound of the building collapsing above her. Radio Jordan's reassurances were not very reassuring.
- posted by @ 2:23 PM

 
It's About Plucking Time
The wings, in the end, were a mixed achievement. I had intended to have them done by the time Elana came home, but there was one thing I didn't count on: feathers. Yes, the thesis of this blog (admittedly unambitious) that Israel is kinda different from the U.S. has once again been supported by the fact that chickens that you buy in the supermarket don't come totally plucked. This being the first time I prepared chicken, I was caught by surprise; plucking is difficult, frustrating work. I have a renewed appreciation for the fact that Elana prepares chicken at least twice a week.

Tomorrow Elana and her class start painting, at last! Today was an interesting day for her: Israel gave a painting demonstration so they could see his process, his color choices, his brushstrokes...basically whatever goes into one of his paintings, but over the course of several hours rather than the several months he usually takes on a painting (I peered through his studio window the other night when we were walking around with our friend Nathalie in Rehavia; his current painting is really big and really good). Of course, I won't give out any of his "trade secrets," because that's absolutely unfair to him. Not incidentally, I wouldn't understand them, anyway, or know how to express a brushstroke verbally. I don't know about Elana, but I for one can't wait for her and the JSS students to start painting.

My day, by contrast, was boring; gym and research at the library. And tomorrow: more of the same. I did get my Hebrew grade today, which was about what I was expecting: way more than enough to pass to Ramah Dalet (level four) next semester.
- posted by @ 3:37 PM

 
Johnny Saucep'n
The weather today in Jerusalem is about as nice as weather can get. I've turned off the heater and opened every window in the place to get some of this glorious air running through the apartment.

I've just completed my first foray into experimental cooking--buffalo wing sauce (another reason to keep the window open). I have no idea how it turned out, nor if it is actually buffalo wing sauce indeed or just some sort of goo. It has the right color, and it's made up of most of the ingredients I think are in buffalo wing sauce, but I don't know...I looked online for recipes, and they simply don't carry everything I needed here, so I had to read the Hebrew and hope for the best. It's a mixture of two kinds of Asian Chili Sauce, Ketchup, Barbecue Sauce, Chili Oil, Tobasco, Dorcestershire Sauce, Sweet and Sour Sauce, Soy Sauce, Garlic Powder, and Black Pepper. I think it may have cooled down enough for a taste. I'll be right back.

***

I'm actually somewhat impressed with myself. It has quite a kick...the kind that you don't notice right away. I took a bite, and thought to myself, "This isn't that spicy. Maybe I should have added more tobasco..." About two seconds later, I was chugging water in surprise. It reminds me of this one time that we were with our friend Daniel at PF Chang's in LA about a year ago. I ordered my dish "spiced up," so they included a few small, red-and-yellow peppers (I don't remember exactly what they're called...Emeril Legace I ain't). So I, being a hotshot, decided to eat one. It had the expected effect; I don't think I remember my tongue ever hurting so much in my life. Elana and Daniel were laughing, I was chugging water and shoveling white rice into my mouth by the chopstick-full, and I swore that I would never do anything so stupid again. Flash forward to about five bites later, when I didn't notice a second pepper that was hiding underneath the piece of beef I picked up. That time I was out of water and rice, and, apparently, luck.

This sauce? Not that torturous. But my lips are still tingling, so I might have gone a little heavy on the chili oil. Still, certainly edible, and while I won't declare this little adventure a success until I try it on the wings I bought this morning and will prepare in about two hours, let's just say that I'm encouraged.

In the meantime, I'm just relaxing. I had intended to get some work done today in addition to the sauce, so maybe I'll do that now. It seems a shame to do work on such a glorious day, but Elana's still it class (she doesn't yet know what I've done...), so I might as well be productive school-wise. Still, I've had a really good time straightening up the apartment and cooking to Great Big Sea and Moxy Fruvous, both of them bands that prove that Canada is good for something besides hockey and ensuring that meat never goes bad in Chicago. Ooh, those Lake Michigan winds...

Did I mention how beautiful the weather is today? I love this place.
- posted by @ 1:35 PM

 
Yesh!
One of Elana's pieces (this one) was accepted to a juried art show being exhibited at the Art Student's League of Denver (at 200 Grant Street downtown, if you are in Denver and have a chance; it's up through the beginning of March). The opening was on Friday, and Elana's piece is the first one on the left when you walk in the door. We wish we could see it in person, but regardless, it's still really exciting.
- posted by @ 1:11 PM

 
Nash Dom, Ashdod
We're back from Ashdod. It occurs to me that most of you have no idea what Ashdod is like, even though we've spent perhaps fifteen percent of the time we've been here in Ashdod. That's a sizeable portion, and Ashdod is worth describing. Again, if you have no interest, feel free to pass.

Ashdod (pronounced Ash-DODE) was, for a long time, somewhat looked down upon in Israel as kind of a depressed place. Only recently has it grown to the point that it's larger than Tel Aviv (though not the Tel Aviv area) population-wise. It's on the coast, south of Tel Aviv, of course, and two cities away from Gaza. It's boomed in the last ten years thanks to heavy Russian immigration: a few moved there, and a few followed their friends and families, and after that new Olim got word that there was a thriving Russian community in Ashdod, and now you know the rest of the story.

Ashdod is perhaps the most urban suburbia one could imagine. Let me qualify that: Ashdod is VERY suburban. Grid-street pattern (a nice change from Tel Aviv and Jerusalem), lots of parks, a sense of sprawl, wide streets. Intersections tend to be roundabouts rather than lights--a way to save on electricity, keep traffic moving, and add a nice aesthetic touch. However, as one drives into Ashdod, one gets the sense that one is driving into a city. The buildings average ten-to-fifteen stories in height, they seem somewhat packed together, and there are plenty more under construction. They are almost all apartment buildings, and almost all built within the last twenty years. They are all white. As you look down any given street, you are bound to see a wall of these things, just like any densely populated city. But there are no little shops on the bottom; no little stores you can walk to, unless you live close to one of the shoppettes that are archetypically suburban. It's a car culture there; you don't see many busses driving down the street (and most of the ones you do are inter-city, anyway), and taxis are few and far between. It's a long, thin city, which Elana and I had the pleasure of driving all the way through once early on in our stay, when it was dark and we took the wrong exit returning from Tel Aviv. It grew up along the beach, and has one of four Israeli ports (joining Tel Aviv and Haifa on the Mediterranean, with Eilat as Israel's Red Sea port), which, incidentally enough, seems to be on strike for the second time in our stay.

Despite the apparent dense population (no, that is not a commentary on their intelligence!) there are not many people walking the street at any given time, nor does traffic seem to be much of a problem. It's slightly paradoxical--where are all the people who live in these buildings? At home, or at one of the many parks and playgrounds, or shopping. A new theatre is being built, and one gets the sense that Ashdod is starting to pick up a culture of its own--I've heard talk, though I don't know how serious, of founding a University there. The mayor is widely acknowledged as corrupt, but nobody seems to care. I imagine he looks like Diamond Joe Quimby. I find it kind of charming, actually, though perhaps that's because of the wonderful people we know there: if it weren't for Grisha and Valya, and Alla, Vova, Tova, Liat, and Eden (and the various and sundry others that we have met through them) I can't imagine we would spend a lot of time wandering down Altalena Street, contemplating the apartments on one side and the sand dunes on the the other. A city is only as good as its residents, and SOMEthing keeps us coming back.

What inspired me to write this is the fact that today we saw more of Ashdod than we usually do; we went to a little park called "PlayMania" fairly close to the (striking) port, which is a rather large playground with some cool things like a climbing wall. We hung out, watched Eden play for a bit, then went back; it was on the drive back that it struck me what an odd amalgamation of city and suburb Ashdod is. I'm also trying to describe in as much detail as possible what life is like here, and it's important to remember that "here" extends beyond the historical hustle-and-bustle of Jerusalem, or the Vice City claustrophobia of Tel Aviv. There are relaxed, laid-back places in Israel, too...speaking of which, we should get ourselves up to Haifa pretty soon.

Tomorrow (Sunday) is the "first" day of my break, meaning that it's the first day I'm going to be "off" when I would normally have class. I'm still going to work; first I'm going to the gym, because I never really got back into the habit of going after I got sick, and then I'm heading over to the library to buckle down and get serious about this paper.
- posted by @ 8:07 PM

 
That's a Wrap, Folks
Aaaaaaaaaaah.

That was the sound of me, finishing my last final this morning. Professor Amitai was kind enough to ask questions to which I knew the answers, so I was one of the last to finish...a good sign on essay tests. So, now I am done with the semester, excepting of course the long forty- to fifty-page monster I am going to write. I'm not worried about it; the libraries will be open, and I have already organized it in such a way that I can write three fifteen-page papers with essentially the same thesis. After my Honors' Thesis, a fifteen page paper is a one week assignment. So, no worries.

I was done with my test at 11:15, which gave me enough time to drive down to JSS and have lunch with Elana and Nathalie. At home, I just relaxed: a nice break from all the studying I've been doing. There was an ad on Janglo (the message board where we read about the dog) of a woman who was selling art supplies in Givat Hananya, near the Old City (it's so beautiful there...the view is absolutely stunning), so we called her and were on our way. We got a bunch of wonderful art books, none of which cost more than about $15 (many were out of print) as well as some good paper, linseed oil and damarr varnish. We left almost guiltily, feeling like we'd stumbled upon and raided a treasure trove. But the woman seemed all to happy to sell, and we were all too happy to buy.

Tonight we have two movies: Lost in Translation (which is actually still in theatres here, but rentable nonetheless) and All the Queens Men. Tomorrow morning I'm getting up early to watch the Avalanche-Red Wings game, which is on TV (starting only an hour earlier than my usual wake-up time!), and then we are probably going to hit up "the fam" in Ashdod for some good times, as per usual when Friday rolls around.

On a final note, I'd like to say, looking back at the semester, that Elana and I have both grown a lot, both as people and in our studies. We're grateful to everyone who has helped us along the way (you know who you are).
- posted by @ 6:58 PM

 
Hulegu's Heathen Horses Hopped on His Unhappy Head, Hardly Helping His Health: Countdown to the final Final
Yesterday I went with Elana and our friends Nathalie and Nava (both of them classmates of hers at JSS) on a crusade for art supplies. There is a building here in Jerusalem called the Artists' House, which used to house Bezalel Art Academy and now holds exhibitions. On the bottom floor is a cute little art supplies store called The Art Set. The Art Set is very small, but in general has what one would need; like everything in Israel, however, you must be patient, as the stock is not kept up very well. Still, the owner does know Israel, the Master Painter, and knows of the class, so when they are told to get art supplies, it seems that the students with the most initiative tip him off as to what it would be in his interest to keep in stock, and he orders it.

Today has been another study day--my last final is tomorrow, and I have just finished outlining 20 possible exam questions. Some are outlined better than others. The material covers the earlier part of the class rather in-depth, whereas some of the later material is entirely ignored, causing me to scratch my head and wonder why. I will have to answer two out of three questions in essay form. Some of my responses are better than others, to be sure, but I paid more attention to the ones that are more likely to be on the exam. You get a sense that he's more likely to ask about something he spent two weeks on rather than something he mentioned once in passing. However, the exclusion of the later material from the course on the final exam made me nervous, so I spent some time going over the other stuff, as well. At the very least, it'll be good to know that it was Hulegu Khan, Genghis' grandson, who had the last caliph, al-Mustasim, wrapped up in a carpet and trampled to death by horses (as a way to get around the prohibition against spilling royal blood--very clever, those Mongols!). As my professor is fond of saying, "You have to know this because it will come up at a dinner party."

I wonder who these friends of his are...
- posted by @ 3:49 PM

 
And on top of it all, it's sunny today
I just finished my Arabic test. Like my Hebrew test, no problem.

All I have left is the State and Society final (for which I'm diligently studying, hence the brevity of this post) and the paper for the same. Then, I write the small final that accompanies the Cross-currents class, and it's on to the next semester.

Our Arabic teacher brought us cake and sat and chatted with us for about an hour after the final was done. She's made a potentially stressful subject very relaxed, and yet we've all still managed to progress an incredible amount. Consider this credit given where it's very due. I'm actually inspired to look ahead in the book to prepare for next semester.
- posted by @ 3:21 PM

 
It's Not Lucky, But It's Not Unlucky Either
We're now two for two on stray dogs. But it was not exactly as we'd expected.

We were walking back from the German Colony yesterday, having rented Whale Rider, when we saw what was a German Shepherd-Husky mix on the street...no leash, but a collar, dirty, and no owner in sight. We sat with her for a minute, and then Elana remembered an announcement she'd seen for a lost German Shepherd female mix on Janglo, a Yahoo! group for Jerusalem English speakers. I sat with the dog and she went back to the apartment to get the information. Everything seemed to fit; the age, description of the dog, and the dog even responded when Elana called her by the name given: Lucky. We called the owner, who was very excited to hear from us, and she sent her daughter...and it wasn't the right dog. We couldn't believe it. This woman decided to take the dog in anyway, to see if she could find the owner; it was clearly lost. So we left, feeling confident that at the very least, we had helped the dog, even if we hadn't reunited this particular family. But it was still disappointing.

Today, the woman called me back to let me know that she had found the owners of the dog and that they were now back together. The dog, she said, had been very excited to see the owner, and despite having been on the street for a little more than three weeks (a very long time!), jumped into her arms. She thanked us for the mitzvah we did, and said that this owner was just as appreciative, and that it was just as important for this family to be reunited. It's true, and we feel good that we helped. This, when you think about it, is a pretty incredible "found dog" story for that owner to tell.

All that said, however, we hope that Lucky is found alive and well.
- posted by @ 9:34 PM

 
Super Bowl Thoughts
If you don't care about the Super Bowl or football, ignore this blog. I'm watching from Israel, which means I stayed awake until 1 AM for the start. I'll be posting thoughts as the game rolls along.

My pregame prediction is New England 24, Carolina 7.

1. Pregame: Man walking on the moon? Tacky. Beyonce? Chill. Seriously.

2. 1st Quarter: Vinatieri missed? How did that happen? It looked like he psyched himself out. He'll get a chance to redeem himself...the hold looked good. Not sure what happened. First break goes to Carolina. It'll be interesting to see if this turns the early momentum their way.

3. Aw, nuts. I don't get the commercials here. Stupid Israel. I do get plenty of Tommy Smith and his soccer news update, "The Auld Onion Bag." Course, there's only one ever couple of days, so I get to see the same one every single time the game goes to commercial. So while you all see all those marvelous ads, I see nothing but a little Irish man talking soccer. Bleh.

4. 1st Quarter: Of course, it doesn't matter how many field goals Vinatieri misses, because Carolina's offense is not going to do anything agains the Pats defense all game. That was just a pathetic, second straight three-and-out. A defensive battle was predicted...heh. So far neither team looks particularly impressive.

5. I hate Tommy Smyth.

6. Are you guys in the US getting these announcers explaining the minute rules of the game, like uniform number systems? Or is that something they only broadcast to the uneducated masses here in the third world? I understand the need to do that because it's a global stage, but honestly...how many people who don't know the basic rules of American football up in the middle of the night to watch?

7. Another three-and-out by the Panthers. This game could end up 7-0 on a Pats interception return. But the Pats are winning the field position battle, and I have confidence in Tom Brady's ability to move the ball 50 yards. I can't say the same for Jake Delhomme. What were all the people who picked Carolina thinking, anyway?

8. I HATE Tommy Smyth!

9. Okay, that answers that. The biggest players and smallest players bit was all in the metric system. Those numbers sound so unnatural rolling off American tongues. So I'm stuck with announcers who are going to treat me like a ten-year-old. That's okay. The sound is very soft so as to not wake up the neighbors, anyway.

10. When did Bill Belichik turn into Dan Reeves?

11. More Tommy Smyth torture. Worst. Super. Bowl. Commercials. Ever.

12. A scoreless first quarter. Does anybody want to win this game? Because if not, I should go to bed right now. I'm tired. In fact, I would, but I just can't miss The Auld Onion Bag. Something funny might happen. Oh, wait. No.

13. Three-and-out. Three-and-out. Three-and-out. Yawn. I can't help but observe that if this telecast is designed to appeal to a non-American demographic, it's not succeeding. All the European conceptions about boring American football are being confirmed. That's sad. And our announcers have just informed us that football is called "gridiron" outside of the US. Isn't that outstanding? That's it. I'm writing nothing else until something happens.

14. I know I said I wouldn't write until something happens, but the Auld Onion Bag isn't long enough to cover all those commercials; I wonder if our game is slightly tape delayed? Okay, my Israeli-style comment-strike is back on. Do something, you shnorers!

15. I'm rooting for New England, but that was a veeery friendly spot here in the second quarter on fourth and inches. And now it's being challenged, slowing down an already molasses-y game and further cementing the NFL's iron grip in Europe. Now, if you'll excuse me, Tommy Smyth and the Auld Onion Bag are on again...

...hey, nice! A hockey commercial!...

...call stands. Second break goes to New England.

16. "For our fans around the world, you have to understand: fans in the United States of America do not like to see low scoring contests." Probable European response: "Then why do they watch this bloody nonsense?"

17. BLOCKED KICK!!! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? Am I getting the same Super Bowl you are? Or are they showing an American football-esque soccer game to make it palatable to all those low-scoring-contest-loving non-Americans?

18. Patriots recover a fumble. "And that is what is known as a turnover!" They know what a turnover is, Jacky. Now let's get that goose egg off the board, shall we? Don't you understand? I'm American! Nnngh!!! I...can't...take...this!!!!!

19. TOUCHDOWN! Oh Praise the Lord! And the Europeans go: "Seven points? For THAT? THAT is the ultimate goal in this game? No wonder they elected that Jackass."

20. And, on that note, Tommy Smyth for President in 2008.

21. Another thing: the announcers go out of their way to point out whenever a player played in NFL Europe. "...and he played for the Frankfurt Galaxy!" or something. That's how you appeal to your target audience. Mention the name of their city and that team they never went to see. And, oh yeah, Carolina's collapse seems well underway. We'll see if that continues.

22. At the two-minute warning, Carolina finally got their first first-down of the game that wasn't given to them by a Patriots' penalty. Again, who picked this team to win? New England is playing perhaps its worst game of the year and is still going to win rather easily. It's a shame the Panthers slid through the NFC. It's a shame the NFC sucked so much.

23. And as if they heard me, the Panthers show some life! I think the Patriots were napping a couple of plays...and OH LOOK AT THAT! The kitties have some bite! Touchdown Panthers! Now we're talking....Oh,yeah. Come on, Patriots. That sucked.

24. Big Play Pats! Deion Branch makes a long catch and another boring dumpoff touchdown! Here we go!

25. Halftime score: Patriots 14, Panthers 10. I'd like to thank crappy run defense for rendering my pregame prediction impossible. I also just learned that John Kasay's field goal, "were he playing for the Rhine Fire!" would have been worth 4 points.

26. The halftime show: Just like every other halftime show I've ever seen. Not ambitious or particularly spectacular anymore. Although Kid Rock draped in the American flag was properly disrespectful, as was his casual discarding of it. But then again, what do you expect from a man whose lyrics are totally derivative of Timmy from South Park ("Kid...ROCK! KID ROCK! Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid ROCK!")? I made myself a cup of tomato soup and ingested it to fill the time and my belly. I say let's move on to the second half already.

27. May I just say, THAT is an impressive strike. Nothing we did in the UTC was ever that quick. All the stage managers are so fired.

28. A streaker. Oh, fantastic. Nothing new to Europe, surely, but I thought security was supposed to be tight at this game?

29. "Helloo there! Aroond the werld the United States is knoon as the lend ef appertoonity. Now UEFA clubs er scouring it, looking fer the appertoonity ta find quality players at reasonable prices!" -Tommy Smyth, The Auld Onion Bag, every time there's a commercial break.

30. The announcer just explained the use of shoulder pads to a rugby-savvy audience: "Well, you see...these guys are big. Really big!" Are you sure you broke that down into simple enough terms?

31. I have to say, five minutes into the second half, the Panthers look like they have more life. I may be forced to eat my words after all; I still doubt it. I admit I took the Panthers lightly. But if the Patriots hadn't done the same, I wouldn't be in the awkward situation of admitting the possibility of a Carolina win. Ah, well. On any given Sunday, anything can happen, and that's why they play the game, I guess. That, and money.

32. Almost done with the third quarter, and we've gone back to just trading three-and-outs, punts, and (God help me) The Auld Onion Bag interspersed in between. Why, oh why can't I see the cool commercials? Or at least an interesting football game?

33. There is another commercial on...for a soccer talk show called Press Pass, where the ubiquitous Tommy and some other guys trade insults ("Don' lissen to those guys. They donno nothing about football. One-a these days I'm gonna strangle Eddie. Maybe I'll just give him the hoop...") Oh, England. You're so cute. Now LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY!

34. They've decided to listen in to the Chinese language broadcast for a play. That's all I can intelligently say about that.

35. We've played three quarters now. The Patriots are knocking on the door. If the Patriots played like they did and they still win, the Panthers truly have no business being there.

36. Touchdown Patriots! That looked really kind of easy. Hmmm. If Carolina doesn't answer big, the game is over.

37. If these guys explain the offsides rule one more time I'm going to throw the TV out the window.

38. Wow. That's a pretty good answer, Carolina. But missing that badly on the two-point conversion attempt has got to be at least a little disheartening. But thank you for making a game of it. I now would rather see then of the game than sleep. What I'd like to see now is a time-consuming drive by the Patriots to take a hunk of time off the clock and a touchdown. I'd also like a pony. We'll see if I get either.

39. I'm in that totally exhausted state of mind where when I lie down and close my eyes, I don't fall asleep, but I do have extremely bizarre dream-like thoughts.

40. "Each team has cheerleaders in America. Most of them are women." "Yes, and many of them are working for their postgraduate degrees, too! That's counter to a lot of people's perception, but these cheerleaders can actually be quite smart!" Thumbs up, guys.

41. "So, Darryl, this now becomes what is known as a very big third down play." I think the announcers gave Tom Brady "Stupid" on that interception.

42. The Panthers...are in the lead??? How did this happen? Well...I'm sticking by my guns and saying the Pats are going to pull it out. After all, the player who made the best play for the Panthers on the Pats' last drive was Tom Brady, and I don't think that will happen again. The Panthers' D won't stop the Pats from getting into at least field goal range. That said, though, if I have to eat my words, I hope I can find a good cook who can mix up a decent tasting sauce to make them digestable.

43. YES! The Pats are back in field goal range! Now don't settle for the three. I can't think of any time in history when Adam Vinatieri has ever made a clutch kick.

44. TOOOOUUUCHDOOOWN!!!!!!! WOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!! Boy, this game got exciting in a hurry, didn't it? Now the two point conversion...is....GOOD! Oh, what a play! Critical. Absolutely critical. Great stuff. A slow starting Super Bowl, turning into one of the best.

45. We have reached the two minute warning. This game really heated up since comment number 41. I'm going to be so tired tomorrow, and I don't care! The Panthers are driving...a touchdown would be really interesting. Do you play it conservative, and go for one, or try for the win and two? Tough choice. Course, they gotta make it there first...we're back...

46. What happened to the defenses? 1st and 3rd quarters: Dr. Jekyll. 2nd and 4th: Mr. Hyde.

47. Touchdown Panthers! Un...be...lie...vable. A shame no one in Europe is still awake to see it. What are they going to do?...They kicked the gimme. We're tied, with 1 minute and change remaining, and the Patriots receiving the ball. This sounds AWFULLY familiar...where have I heard this one before?

48. OH! Kasay kicked it out of bounds! They need about thirty yards for field goal range, and that's it!! What a huge blunder! At this point both kickers are fired.

49. Huge New England play called back by a pass interference penalty. Neither team wants to win this game!!!

50. OK...Pats are in field goal range now. If this kick goes through, Deion Branch gets MVP. OK, 41 yarder, here we go...well, not quite, they're icing him...alright, now we're ready....lined up...and here's the kick...

IT'S GOOD! IT'S GOOD! I DON'T BELIEVE IT! IT'S GOOD! IT'S GOOD!

51. THEY DID IT! THE PATRIOTS WIN!!!! Oh, wow...

I will say this. The Panthers earned my respect in this game, but only for this game. They are this year's Carolina Hurricanes or Anaheim Mighty Ducks. Next year, they will be the team that they truly are, and I think that is a mediocre one.

So, that's it. Now I've seen the whole Super Bowl, in the middle of the night. It's sleep time, even if only for a couple of hours. Congratulations to the Patriots and all of their fans, many of whom I know. Good night.
- posted by @ 5:39 AM

 
Sundays off? I remember those!
This was the first time since moving to Jerusalem that Sunday felt like a part of the weekend; it's finals right now, and I don't have any until Tuesday (Arabic) and then another on Thursday (State and Society in the Medieval Islamic World). Then it's February off for me (and by "off" I mean spending most days at the University anyway, working on my paper for the State and Society class). I took my Hebrew final on Friday morning, before we left for Ashdod. It was pretty easy, I think, and I definitely feel ready for the next level.

Our visit to Ashdod and Bat Yam (south Tel Aviv, just up the Ayalon Highway from Ashdod) was a pleasant one. Elana's grandparents have friends in Bat Yam who live right on the beach, and they had us over for a very nice Shabbat lunch.

Today was a working day, and it rained most of the day; this morning there was ice falling, but not quite snow. I studied very hard today for my final on Thursday, and the MSOffice CD arrived from Denver, so after reintalling that I now have my computer pretty much back to where it was. I haven't reinstalled all of the games that I had , but I have barely played them since getting here, so I saw no reason to reinstall them; they only slow down the computer and take up space, after all. But I'm glad to have my computer back, in general.

Elana and I rented Whale Rider tonight, and it was great. Later on, I'm going to watch the Super Bowl, which is hyped to be a great defensive battle (maybe because they want people to watch it, when in fact Carolina will probably get blown out of the water). Until then, it's a little more relaxing, a little more work. Mostly work. Best thing to do on a day off, right?
- posted by @ 8:35 PM